Photo: Sue Vincent
“I thought I’d see better,” she frowned.
“Your thoughts were wrong.”
The matter of fact tone caused her frown to deepen. It really was no way to speak to her, especially given the circumstances.
“Is there nothing you can do?” she rubbed her eyes, squinted, tried to adjust the angle of her head.
“Nothing needs doing,” came the response.
She wondered how it was possible for her to feel anger. Wouldn’t she be beyond all that by now? And yet … there it was. She wanted to strangle something, but there was no way she could manage it. Not that she really would, anyhow … Or, well, maybe …
Almost everything about this new situation was distressing. A bit more sympathy would be nice. And yet there this was, cold as the ghost of Christmas past.
Then again … perhaps it couldn’t be helped.
She wasn’t sure if that made her angrier or made her sad. Perhaps both.
“Is it always going to be this way?” she tried, feeling vulnerable and suddenly quite terrified. Always was such a very very long time!
“Always is a misnomer.”
She wondered if tossing something would make her feel better. She really expected this to be quite different. She certainly believed things would be a lot less cryptic.
She sniffed and was surprised at the sensation. She squinted, almost expecting tears, though of course there were none.
The display around the tree remained as she’d remembered it from the day before, only fuzzier, as if seen through a film, with the pixels all wrong. Not one thing had the borders that it ought to have. The wooden figurines seemed softer, though. That pleased her. And the way she could sense the space between the molecules, see the atoms floating.
How could she see that and yet be unable to manage basic focus?
There was a sort of chuckle in the reply, even though she did not voice the question. That’ll take some getting used to, too. The total lack of privacy.
She sighed and a memory of her first day in college floated to the surface. She didn’t think she’d ever get used to being there, either, at the time. Yet she had, somehow.
Heaven should be easy, after that.
She let her form relax. The angel and the candle merged into the table and with it rose the notion that she could now pass a hand through solids.
The room was blurry. So was her mind. It was not quite unpleasant. She was not quite anxious. Adjusting, more like.
Of course she would feel out of sorts.
After all, it hadn’t even been a full day since she died.